The Food Bloody Sucks ...

After the thrill of Wimbledon, we decided to take an early, leisurely dinner in one of London's most famous tourist hangouts -- Covent Garden. We had actually hoped to catch the weekend market, but were told that the market opens only on Mondays (and it was a Sunday). Bollocks ...

We ordered Angus beef kebabs and chicken stew at Covent Garden Kitchen. Remember the name so you never have to suffer the unpleasant gastronomic experience we did. The beef kebabs were ... (I kid you not) ... green ... and the chicken was, well, a flavorless, grubby mush. Worse, we had to pay £17 for the meal! £17 !!!

English cuisine is simply ... weird. The famous British scones are crumbly and tasteless, English sausages (called "bangers") transform into bricks in your belly (the black sausages are particularly nasty), nothing is ever cooked right. I was glad I stayed away from shepherd's pie -- looking at its generous topping of gooey, icky brown sauce is enough to make you gag. And the English find it moral to charge you in pounds, and how, for this junk?!

But I can't, and won't, be unjust ... Peking Duck at The Dorchester's China Tang and Chicken Tikka Curry, Grilled Lamb, Black Lentils and Roti bread at Tamarind on Queen St. were most agreeable. And I didn't mind paying £80 for the Indian meal ... (you can't go to London anyway without sampling the Indian food, which has become the preeminent English fare, made less spicy and strong to appeal to the otherwise bland English taste)

They say the English are snotty, haughty and arrogant ... Maybe they appear to be so because they have to tense their buns all day to keep in all that ... er ... gas ...